Storytime Jokers T-Shirts

'60,000 milligrams. . . 60,000? As a pharmacist, didn't you think that much Ambien might be a tad excessive for Mr.Van Winkle?'

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

Birds steal sleeping girl's shoelaces.

"It's by A.I. Milne."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Grimm's Fairytales - Pee Wit; Luring Villagers into the Lake

"Kayakers Fred! Let's surface next to them and check the look on their faces!"

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'

'That's what I said,dear-your dinner's in the chippie..'

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

To save space, we eliminated hallways and doors, by adding catwalk and ladders.

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

'Once upon a time, in a faraway land with a budget surplus...'

How electric eels "welcome" door-to-door salesmen

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

The Gardener's Calendar: If your fish pool is covered with ice...make a hole in it.

How to avoid a heart attack.

"I took your advice."

Watch for Men Being Supid

'O.K. people, it's time to test our work...'

"Mom, what season is it when the leaves fall off the trees and are replaced with plastic bags?"

'No cup holder?'

'For goodness sake, take a mint: You have Spring breath!'

Seagull humour.

'You spent all day mashing a can of a hundred baked beans and drawing a little man on them to look like pennies?'

"So was the old lady who lived in a shoe taken to court for whipping her kids."

Have a CRAPPY New Year!

Sticker: 'How's my driving you nuts?'

"Shaving your head takes the guesswork out of going bald."