Storytelling Friend Gifts

'I wish you'd stop recounting boyhood stories with the phrase, 'Back when I was your height'.'

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"What did Jesus order?"

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

"I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may tend to hurt sales of my 'tell-all' book."

"Tut's outdone himself this time."

Pixie Dust $2.00 A Handfull

'This definitely calls for group therapy.'

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

Tiny Tim, who did not die, grows up to marry Little Nell, who did not die, either.

"He spends hours waiting for his muse to strike..."

England.

'If little girls are made of sugar and spire and everything nice, where does genetics fit into the picture?'

"Good evening, Charles - windy out, is it?"

'Secretary Fish and General Grant Amused at the English Outcry over the Alabama Claims'

"I know it's only a thumbnail sketch, but I quite like it!"

Arabian Nights.

'You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?'

"It's true, Caesar. Rome is declining, but I expect it to pick up in the next quarter."

'What really stung is when they wanted the Magna Carta notarized!'

"Actually, I don't know anybody here. I was just passing the house when I heard all the fun."

Writer's Strike

British Prime Ministers.

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

'Could you sign it 'anonymous'? It's for a friend and I don't want to ruin the surprise.'

An interview with Codlin and Short

'You're not Gramma! You're Wolf Blitzer!'

Anais Nin.

The Wellington Statue.