Friend Who Loves Writing Gifts

"Soon to be a motion picture."

Bangers and Mash

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

'Out, damned Spot.'

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

Man browsing books see couple kissing in romance section of book store.

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

Dip Pen

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

Mark Twain and Charles Dickens make a joint appearance on the lecture circuit

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

"I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may tend to hurt sales of my 'tell-all' book."

Noah's Ark Book Shop has two doggie doors.

"Would you mind taking a look at this collection of my poems? Your opinion would mean a lot."

"The narrative seems contrived."

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

Chippunks

"I can write, but I can't draw."

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

"Writing that book was a real strain."

"His prose is so muscular."

Miss Jellyby

Tiny Tim, who did not die, grows up to marry Little Nell, who did not die, either.

"He spends hours waiting for his muse to strike..."

"Sorry, but your personal life story just isn't very original."

Tell the author your idea for a book at 3 pm.

It started with a giggling sound in the suspension, then a noise in the ventilator, and then...

Arabian Nights.

Anyway I thought I'd have a go at this writing lark on the first publisher I showed my scribbles gave me a five book deal.

Anais Nin.

Flying Pen