Friend Who Is A Writer Gifts

''My Days at the Convent' ... Sister this is perfect for our Minimal Interest division.'

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

Bangers and Mash

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

'Would you say your glass is half empty or half full?' 'Whose round is it?'

Marcel Proust

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

Teacher's pet dog

'Could you tone down the smile just a little?'

"I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may tend to hurt sales of my 'tell-all' book."

A Friend in Need.

Miss Jellyby

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

"Well the good news is that everything was supposed to be bad for you is actually good, but the bad news is that everything that you thought was good for you is actually bad."

Tiny Tim, who did not die, grows up to marry Little Nell, who did not die, either.

"He spends hours waiting for his muse to strike..."

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

'Doing this was easy. Finding someone nuts enough to buy the crap - THAT'S art!'

'There are ten questions on this quiz. Each is worth 20 points.'

It started with a giggling sound in the suspension, then a noise in the ventilator, and then...

Arabian Nights.

'My right brain isn't working.'

To sleep, perchance to wake up as a different person.

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

"You're doing great boy! Just don't bark."

Pavement Art.

"Soon to be a motion picture."

Junk Art

Anthropomorphic Fiction.

Anais Nin.

"I wasn't cheating. He's just peer mentoring and doesn't know it."

'Sit!'

'Could you sign it 'anonymous'? It's for a friend and I don't want to ruin the surprise.'

'Have you ever noticed all the comfort food in a teachers lounge?'