Storytellers Of The Absurd T-Shirts

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"He was a sea rescue."

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

Extremely Practical Jokes.

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

Baseball.

UFO and snowman

"Really, Larry? Of all the things that could have bitten you, you get a wereduck?"

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

Drone Baby Delivery

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

''Tough crowd in tonight!''

They stole your identity, but after seeing your credit score, they gave it back.

The Bonvoy Age...

Magnet at scrapyard

The Hypnotato,

Closed Thursdays.

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

A headless man puts up a poster for his lost head.

"First of all, I'd like to thank all of the little pumpkins who made this night possible."

Albert should have known that cactuses rarely have change. Besides, they prefer jazz.

'Sorry Ma'am, but I only do palm-readings...'

A Heated Argument

'Man, this elevator goes on forever...'

"Having bitten the apple I think we should cover our phones with fig-leaves."