Storyteller Of Office Antics Pillows

'Sure, pin the blame on the donkey.'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

"What's your occupation?"

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

'This is going to be good, he's taking water balloons into the board meeting.'

'I don't know what he's doing or why he's doing it, but by golly, I love his work ethic.'

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

"He worked his way up from the mail room...from licking stamps to kissing butt."

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

Office Competitions

"We're restructuring - Wednesday moves to Friday, Tuesday becomes Wednesday, Monday stays where it is and Thursday and Friday will be merged with the weekend."

'And along with your promotion you get a key to the executive bedroom.'

"Your wife's on the phone...."

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

'It just got ugly. Ed from I.T. drank the entire water cooler and he wasn't even thirsty!'

Ordnance: 'explode...implode'.

Sleeping at the computer.

'...How can I trust you to handle multimillion-dollar accounts if you can't even spin a basketball on your fingertip?'

"It's the terrifying story of a publisher brutally murdered by an author who had his book rejected."

"Did you hear the good news? We're engaged to become work spouses."

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

Secretary

"He seized the day again. Now how do we get it back?"

Out and In.

'Very good job! I would like to show my appreciation in a practical way...Hip,hip hooray!'

'Well, that's a helluva great business plan... What have you done before you founded a management consultancy, Mr... umh... Smith?'

'Hello? IT? Yes, there's been a breach in security and I'm concerned about unauthorised access to my personal details.'

"Social distancing... masks, it's difficult sometimes to know who you're talking to."

"Every time he elbow bumps me, he hits my funny bone on purpose."

"It's wearing a bit thin now, Peterson."