Storyteller Of Justice Gifts

"Objection denied."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"It's up to you to keep the dream alive..."

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Mou...Man trap!

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

"I still have a dream."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

Law 'N' Order

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."

'Must you be so judgemental?'

'An injunction against the First Amendment? - Can we DO that?'

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."

'How do you like THAT disparate impact?'

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

'I've done some of my best work pro bono ... darn it?'

'So I'll see you in court tomorrow afternoon...and bring your toothbrush.'

Penitentiary (No Criminal Testing).