Storybook Sleuth T-Shirts

''Oui, oui, oui all the way home'? - was he a pig, or a French diplomat?'

Fairy-tales

"Well did he?"

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"Where the wild things were."

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

Little Princess.

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

'Sue didn't watch soap operas all the time. She also reads books'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Sleeping Beauty

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

Cupid

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

Grimm's Fairytales - Title Page

'...And the mama bear's porridge was frozen solid....'

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

'I can't remember the title, but it began, 'Once upon a time'...'

'She said she was made out of sugar and spice, so I bit her.'

"If only we had adventures like in this book. I wouldn't even know where to begin to look..." "You may find, fun is always on my mind! Shall we take the weego my amigo?"

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."

'The bad news is the Big Bad Wolf is coming. The good news is I've got some great rates on Homeowner's Insurance!'