Storybook Critic Pillows

'...and now you're huffing and puffing. What use is that to a wolf?'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

The Runaway Horse

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"Where the wild things were."

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

Knights of the bedside table.

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Sleeping Beauty

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

"Well did he?"

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

Many princes attempted to wake Sleeping Beauty, before one of them simply kissed her'

Grimm's Fairytales - Title Page