Storybook Addict Pillows

'Hey, knucklehead! You're standing on my tale!'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Bookworm Sleepover

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

"Where the wild things were."

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

Little Princess.

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

Treasure Island Book.

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Sleeping Beauty

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."