Storybook Admirer Pillows

Little Nell as comforter

A group of Little Red Riding Hoods

"They're fixing the elevator on Monday."

Alice in Wonderland - Who Stole the Tarts?

"And mid-morning we have a lovely break for milk and gingerbread cookies."

Royalty

Recycling a Glass Slipper

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

"Feel free to take notes."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"Where the wild things were."

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Sleeping Beauty

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

Cupid

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

Many princes attempted to wake Sleeping Beauty, before one of them simply kissed her'

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"