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Little Red Robbin' Hood.

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"I just never 'think I can' anymore."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

Fyodor Dostoevsky

That lovely summer day, Little Red Riding Hood decided to deviate from the script.

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

"'Best wishes'? That's it? That's all you got?!"

'Pirate's Cove is about a half mile down the beach.'

'Tarzan's younger brother, Ed, was raised by sloths.'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

Fairy tale

'I thought you were going for a walk in the woods. Your porridge has been cooling on the table for hours! '

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

The princess and the key

"Now, can you explain that with a parable?"