Story Revisers Gifts

Humpty Dumpty, fallen-down drunk.

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

"Eat my dust!"

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

'I suspect the cow jumping over the moon is an illusion or swamp gas.'

TOXIC TIMES

"The changes in the rules for risk management will turn the industry on its head."

"This isn't how the story went at all."

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

"Leon rents out his time machine to people who have to go back and 'un-day' stuff that's now considered offensive."

"When I come to edit my life, this will be a deleted scene."

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

'Once upon a time there were some me with big sticks, and these men, they said to everyone else...'

"Brick, Eh? Well, sorry to blow your house down but these days it's not wise to be so invested in stability."

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll And Mister Softee

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'Someone's been sitting in my cubicle!' 'Someone's been eating in my cubicle!' 'Someone's been sleeping in my cubicle!'

Rapunzel Experiments With Gender Presentation

"I've been thinking about your bedtime story, and something doesn't make sense."

"And ten she said what big ears I'd got. You don't think I've got big ears do you Brian?"

'I hope you don't mind -- I just HAD to get some fresh air!'

Jack and the Beanstalk updated.

Breaking the stereotype

'For now, just watch it -- we can dissect the plot later!'

"They got kicked off paradise because they couldn't resist a stupid apple?! Ridiculous! I mean, if it was for a double cheeseburger with fries and ice cream..."

'Um, guitar. What kind of hero were you looking for?'

"Can I call you back? I'm decluttering."

Little Red Riding Hood Packs a Gun.

Frank and Ernest's Updated Fairy Tales. Before I work on the thorn, I need to talk about your insurance.

Updating the ending of the 3 Little Pigs: BIG BAD WOLF, INC: Practical Pig, CEO

Desk Organizers: Too Hot, Too Cold and Just Right.