Stork Story Lover Gifts

'Hey Kiddo, I think we'll have to stop to change your nappy...'

'Kid, would you please keep your head down! I can't see where I'm going...'

Maternity Hospital

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"Where the wild things were."

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"I just never 'think I can' anymore."

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Sleeping Beauty

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

Fyodor Dostoevsky

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

Grimm's Fairytales - Title Page

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'