Stone Art Collector T-Shirts

"It's a 'selfie.'"

Great Chinese Dynasties

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Use your imagination.

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Well....I could've done this!"

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

Cat statues on entrance gate

Barristers

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Early Business Planning

Art Gallery.

"He's an abstract artist."

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"Caricatures $20"

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"What's most exciting about NFTs is the opportunity for dynamic new content."

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

"I read 'Art News.'"

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'

Graffiti Forever!

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."