Stone Age Satire Lover Gifts

Caveman waits for his money from a cash dispenser as behind the scenes another caveman chips away at a rock.

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

'We've got a personnel problem -- by the time they punch in, they're too tired to work.'

'I think I preferred your meals before I discovered fire.'

'...and then my wife said: Can I borrow your club for a moment?'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Occu-Pie Mars

'That's our mission statement.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Trump pardons

Do Not Resuscitate

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

Oligarchy

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"Away with the warmonger!"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

This Message Has No Content

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

National Everything Awareness Day

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'You can just forget about the cake.'

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"