Stock Market Warrior Gifts

'He's back on the ledge again! This time, he sold everything, and the market went back up.'

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

"What do you mean, the market rallied?"

Global crisis.

What exactly do you wish to punch him on the nose about, sir?

Grim Reaper leaning on scared trader.

'To hell with everybody!' - 'Right on!'

'Stand back!'

'You may now come in off the ledge. The test of the NASDAQ plummeting is over.'

'Damn! My portfolio took a dive!'

''Buy high' and 'sell high' haven't made me any money, so bring me something non-alcoholic.'

I think the word you are hunting for is 'plummet'.

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

'Time to buy.'

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

Money pouring in for a 'Acme Doodad Company's IPO.