Stock Market Struggler Pillows

'Why do the bad things that happen to stupid investors always happen to me?'

"Wait - you're right - it is as bad as it seems."

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

Stock market investment advice

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

Fairy Tales. The piggy bank's been smiling a lot lately. He's the only one who didn't lose his savings in the stock market meltdown.

'There's no correlation to stock prices. It's just a 'feel good' graph.'

Animal worries.

Businessman on a Slippery Downward Slide.

It's 10 p.m. Do you know how low your investment banking stocks can go?

Sad businessman with sinking profits

"Dow-Jones Index...Dow-Jones Index..."

'What's this? You're suing me because the prescribed medication made you 'irrationally exuberant' in a down market?'

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

"Mother, I sold the cow for some financial derivatives."

Economic casualties.

"This investment will make a pile of money. Of course, a good question is 'for whom?'"

We have an all volunteer workforce, and we're still losing money!

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

"Let's first talk about how you could have done worse."

Sign reading "Bought High; Sold Low."

"This one is very popular one. Ben Bernanke repeating over and over, 'the economy is going to be okay'."

Wall Street walking traffic sign flashes 'Worry' and 'Don't Worry.'

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

'I am a staving artist. I'm fat because all I can afford is junk food!'

'Aren't corporate raiders getting increasingly aggressive?'

Doctors appointment.

"Judging by all the hair you've pulled out of your head, I must be hard to teach technology to than I thought."

"I think it's nice the way we divide the pain in to four equal parts."

"I invested $1000 in Nortel and now my shares are worth 18 cents."