Stock Market Slugger Pillows

The Babe points to where his investment portfolio is going!

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

"Some guy by the name of Bernanke called in. He wants to try and make an emergency soft landing."

The Giamatti era

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

Exchange Rate Going Down the Plughole

The United States' economy deflating.

'Give me something that will restore my faith in Equities . . .'

The Contrarian funds

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

'I thought time was supposed to be money!'

How should I know up or down? All I heard was the FT was 74.95.

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

'Today, the market did the 'Ol' Dipsy, but recovered in the 'Doodle'.'

'It's like a bull market, only not as aggressive. It's more like a steer market.'

'You realize, of course, that that's the fifth 25 stake we've now sold in our entertainment division.'

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

Geezernomics - Crash of 1929.

'...But the good news is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

'Today, emerging market funds rose on news the American dream is alive and well in Thailand, Singapore, China. . .'

'Find out if that was a computer glitch or a market glitch?'

'I sure wish there was a formula for picking the right mutual fund!'

'Oh my God! You look like you've see the FTSE.'

'I can't believe it! This is when I sent out a company memo advocating a win-win philosophy.'