Stock Market Snob Pillows

The Snob Fund - Sorry, Closed to New Investors.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

Will work for ETFs

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

A child runs an equity stand.

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

Dow Jones drop

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

Jumping Wall Street.

Smiling businessman with rising profits

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'