Sinful Stock Market Enthusiast Pillows

"Greed, anger, envy and pride closed higher today, while lust, gluttony and sloth showed losses."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Will work for ETFs

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

A child runs an equity stand.

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

Dow Jones drop

That Awkward Moment When You Discover That Wall Street's Insanity Is Helping You

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

Jumping Wall Street.

Smiling businessman with rising profits

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

Bookstore. The Stock Market for Dummies. It's either an instructional guide or a history of recent economics.

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

'I've never seen a stock crash so hard.'

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

"Oooh! I think I just felt our stock split."