Stimulus Seeker Pillows

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

Go team!

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

Go! Means NOW!

Teamwork!

'Congratulations on breaking through the glass ceiling of the company downstairs. However, I will be sending you a repair bill.'

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

Upward Progress

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"The more coffee I drink, the more these motivational posters make sense."

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

Stresses Can Have a Motivating Effect...If They Don't Kill You!

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

I'm looking forward tot he day we can afford some real statues for this place.

Win - win

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

"No, I'm not really a CEO. I just like to keep up with the Joneses."

The rope to success.

'That's the first cubicle I ever worked in.'

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."