Stereotype Analyzer Gifts

"Hey. Does my butt look fat?"

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

"Say 'eh.'"

Prejudice/Empathy

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

'Seesh...I'm really tired of how men are always depicted as clueless dolts!!...I didn't say it's inaccurate, just that I'm tired of seeing it...'

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

'Typical man...too stubborn to stop and ask for directions.'

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

"It's people like you who are ruining rock and roll for the rest of us."

'When did he start stroking a white Persian cat?'

"I'm not just cleaning up - it's part of a conversation I'm having with Mum."

"Oh, it's just more white-male stuff."

Disparate housewives.

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

"And what do you want to be when you grow up little girl, a nursie or mummy?" "Actually I'm torn between a career in hedge fund derivatives or setting up my own management consultancy."

Pikey and Chav.

*Sigh*

'You must be the angel of the north.'

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

'Honestly Fred, we're only here for the day trip.'

"Of course I know what the rearview mirror is for...to check at any moment if my hair still looks ok."

'Chief, do you swear not to speak with a forked tongue?'

It's an unwritten law. Guys can like only two kinds of flowering plants - a cactus with thorns or that one that eats flies.

Four Horsewomen of the Apocalypse

24 Words for Melting Snow

"So we've got the cute Asian and they did the student that was the old out of shape ex military type?"

"We begin the day hammering. Then there's 'Regis and Kathie Lee.' Then we do some more hammering, followed by lunch and 'Days of Our Lives,' more hammering, 'Oprah,' and, finally, home."

Why Men Get Angry and Why Women Get Angry

"Ladies and gentlemen, we can parse the nuances of motive forever, but isn't it much more satisfying just to deal with broad stereotypes?"

"Two months in France and Spain gave me the courage to smoke again."

You! Are thick magazine.

Foreigners in Paris - Foreigners staring at one another believing the other to be Parisian

"I found out something last night that just totally destroyed my worldview."

"Awww! How long have you been married?"