Stereotype Analyst Gifts

"I'm neither a good cop nor a bad cop, Jerome. Like yourself, I'm a complex amalgam of positive and negative personality traits that emerge or not, depending on circumstances."

'You must be the angel of the north.'

"Oh, it's just more white-male stuff."

TYPES OF ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANTS

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

"Say 'eh.'"

Prejudice/Empathy

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

'Seesh...I'm really tired of how men are always depicted as clueless dolts!!...I didn't say it's inaccurate, just that I'm tired of seeing it...'

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

California Beverages Map

"It's people like you who are ruining rock and roll for the rest of us."

'Typical man...too stubborn to stop and ask for directions.'

'When did he start stroking a white Persian cat?'

"I'm not just cleaning up - it's part of a conversation I'm having with Mum."

Disparate housewives.

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

"And what do you want to be when you grow up little girl, a nursie or mummy?" "Actually I'm torn between a career in hedge fund derivatives or setting up my own management consultancy."

*Sigh*

Pikey and Chav.

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

'Honestly Fred, we're only here for the day trip.'

24 Words for Melting Snow

Four Horsewomen of the Apocalypse

"Of course I know what the rearview mirror is for...to check at any moment if my hair still looks ok."

It's an unwritten law. Guys can like only two kinds of flowering plants - a cactus with thorns or that one that eats flies.

'Chief, do you swear not to speak with a forked tongue?'

"So we've got the cute Asian and they did the student that was the old out of shape ex military type?"

"I'd like to have myself declared legally blonde."

"We begin the day hammering. Then there's 'Regis and Kathie Lee.' Then we do some more hammering, followed by lunch and 'Days of Our Lives,' more hammering, 'Oprah,' and, finally, home."

Why Men Get Angry and Why Women Get Angry

"Ladies and gentlemen, we can parse the nuances of motive forever, but isn't it much more satisfying just to deal with broad stereotypes?"

"Two months in France and Spain gave me the courage to smoke again."