Stepdaughter Pillows

Florence and Edith on the Staircase

'All hail the reigning queen of static electricity.'

Mr. Dombey introduces his daughter Florence

'Um...Danae? Does your father know your horse stays on the bed with you?'

'Wow...nice job of bluffing with reverse psychology, Victoria!. . . Um. . . You were bluffing right?'

'Just because your father and I have decided to get married doesn't mean we love you any less.'

'Bored, bored, bored, bored. . .nothing ever seems to change around here. . . Why does everything seem to change so fast around here?!!'

'I see it as an adventure Joe...and the best adventures are the ones that challenge you...Ah...and this would explain your collection of hazmat suits.'

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"We penguin fathers are the greatest!!!..."

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

Father and son with matching beer crates.

"Actually it's quite nice. It's just that I don't think I'm your dad."

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum.'

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

'My daughter made me a decoy for Father's Day. It would break her heart if I didn't use it.'

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

Child on a schedule.

'They call them gifts, but they make you pay for them.'

"Our training on managing a work life balance is running late so you'll need to get someone to pick your kids up."

Ugly sisters from Cinderella fighting

'Until I met your Mom, yes.'

"That's my mum and her boyfriend's the one next to my dad who's behind his girlfriend next to his second wife, just behind my mums first husband."

'Yesterday her kids and my kids started beating up our kids.'

"We've found your birth mother."

"It's your mother calling."

"Mom?!"

'Mom's Diner: your meal free if you wash all the dishes and take out the garbage.'

A kid like me needs a dad like you! You know. Someone to post bail.

'You can't tell me what to do! You're not my 'ruler'! Heck, you're not even my real dad!'