Step-mother Pillows

"It's standoff. My kids get along better with my wife, but my wife's kids get along better with me."

'Quit calling me your wicked biological mother!'

'Well done Mum. You finally got one.'

'Hey, girls...I guess the news of your dad and me may have felt like you were a bird hitting a window...I don't want you to worry about any sudden changed in rules around here...Ok...maybe a few changes.'

"We've found your birth mother."

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

Child on a schedule.

Ugly sisters from Cinderella fighting

"Our training on managing a work life balance is running late so you'll need to get someone to pick your kids up."

'Until I met your Mom, yes.'

"That's my mum and her boyfriend's the one next to my dad who's behind his girlfriend next to his second wife, just behind my mums first husband."

Quick Response Forces at East 89th Street

"Mom?!"

Mr. Dombey introduces his daughter Florence

"It's your mother calling."

'Mom's Diner: your meal free if you wash all the dishes and take out the garbage.'

Step Mom's Diner: Under New Management.

"When you say you want to speak to my parents, do you mean my mommy and her new husband, or my daddy and his new wife or my mommy and daddy?"

"Sorry to break it to you like this, son, but you're not adopted."

'Mom & her new husband' and 'Pop & his live-in girlfriend'.

'Will you marry us?'

"Now that we've got a new bull, is he the calve's stepfather?"

"I'll clean my room when I want. I don't have to listen to you. You're just my step ladder."

"I'm dealing with tweens at home and fiends at work."

'Make Mother's Day shopping a piece of cake.'

'Wow...nice job of bluffing with reverse psychology, Victoria!. . . Um. . . You were bluffing right?'