Step-mum Gifts

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"We penguin fathers are the greatest!!!..."

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum.'

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

Child on a schedule.

"Our training on managing a work life balance is running late so you'll need to get someone to pick your kids up."

"That's my mum and her boyfriend's the one next to my dad who's behind his girlfriend next to his second wife, just behind my mums first husband."

Mr. Dombey introduces his daughter Florence

'Mom's Diner: your meal free if you wash all the dishes and take out the garbage.'

"We've found your birth mother."

"It's your mother calling."

Quick Response Forces at East 89th Street

A kid like me needs a dad like you! You know. Someone to post bail.

'You can't tell me what to do! You're not my 'ruler'! Heck, you're not even my real dad!'

'Don't take it too hard, Dad, Mr. Hodes down the street is just having a great year.'

"Mom?!"

"When you say you want to speak to my parents, do you mean my mommy and her new husband, or my daddy and his new wife or my mommy and daddy?"

'Mom & her new husband' and 'Pop & his live-in girlfriend'.

'Will you marry us?'

"I'll clean my room when I want. I don't have to listen to you. You're just my step ladder."

'Guess what, Mom - Suzie and I just found out that we have the same ex-Dad!'

"Now that we've got a new bull, is he the calve's stepfather?"

"I'm dealing with tweens at home and fiends at work."

'Make Mother's Day shopping a piece of cake.'

'Wow...nice job of bluffing with reverse psychology, Victoria!. . . Um. . . You were bluffing right?'

'Hi! New daddy!'