Steak Snatcher T-Shirts

If I don't make a sound, he won't notice.

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

World Tour.

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

The Best Little Steak House in the City.

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'We saw the first robin...he saw the first London broil.'

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

Elevator buttons : Rare, Medium, Well done.

Artist depicts cow as large steak.

'OK, sir, sorry that meat was too rare for you. It should be fine now.'

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

The ambush.

'The chef says sorry but he doesn't do rare.'

Plants to Avoid - Creeping Wallenda

"One medium rare and one with honey."

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'

"Your steak's prepared in the firebox of a 17th century tank engine - unfortunately sir, the chef can't confirm if it has 0-60T wheel arrangement or not."

'Well, you did say 'well done', Sir!'

"Steak for breakfast, steak for lunch, steak for dinner. . . you can't stop evolution!"

Cooked rare.

"Just how rare is this steak..."

Prime Meats.

'My client, Skippy, is suing for a twenty-ounce sirloin, medium-rare.'

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

"Hmmm ... either my steak knife is broken, or you cooked the heck out of this fillet."

"No, I'm not calling for order in the court. I'm tenderizing a porterhouse steak. Do continue, counselor."