Stay Command Pro Pillows

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

She Persisted (But it was a Weekend)

'Which channel would you like to tut at tonight?'

Meditation vs. Vegetation

"Still judging people on stuff you could never do?"

"Hey Google, describe the view."

"You had the persistence to wind your way through our labyrinthian phone system to ask for an interview...you're hired!"

Inbox and outbox for books

'I lost my shoe, but I got my foot in the door.'

God creates humans.

'Taking the anger management class has made you uncharacteristically nice, sir.'

You will do as I command...'It had a power surge.'

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

"She died doing what she loved."

"When you said this was our Forever Home, did you mean we'd be forever home?"

"Williams cannot work from home anymore. He's losing touch with the company culture."

I resist all change, except for TV channels, of course!

A butcher's counter is divided between 'delicious,' 'not bad' and 'edible.'

'My Way' - 'The Highway'.

'Sit! Fetch! Beg! Heel! Speak! When will he make up his mind?'

'I'm glad we couldn't afford a holiday.'

"I don't care when my parents don't understand me. I care when the voice activated remote doesn't understand me."

Tv Remote

Girl on couch considers channel-hopping to be a sport

'Heal!' 'Heel!'

'There you go...talking that old timey trash again. Got any ideas the work in the real world?'

'He must have crept in at night. The important thing is to stay calm.'

"The parking is terrible, so we decided to never do anything again."

"Norman's a control freak."

Firing your advisors

"I couldn't afford the single supplement."

'Holmes, I keep telling you ... you've got to be more assertive with that horse.'