Status Updater Pillows

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"Sorry chief, just updating my status."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'

"We need to update your entire operating system."

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

"He's only an associate but he's already reaping at a partner's level."

"I got an A+ on my math test! I'm updating my resume."

" 'Obselete' means any software the company bought last year for multi-megabucks."

'I'm too busy installing updates to figure out any practical application for them.'

House building chart (like steps).

A fish jumping from a tank that reads "Tropical fish $5.00" into a tank that reads "Tropical fish $20.00"

"Hi, this is Bill Gates. Time to buy some new software."

"Definitely time for an upgrade."

"Sorry, but I have to let you all go. I'm getting all of my presents online now."

'During our vacations in Aspen, Cecil, did we hobnob with the rich or super rich?'

"Yes the view is nice, but I mostly want people to look up here and think how rich I am."

'Sorry, this is the Billionaires club. The Millionaires club is down the street.'

"One minute I was Chairman and Chief Executive of Mammon Industries, the next I'm the gallbladder in room 405."

Before and After an Update

"Your new operating system has rendered all your applications and peripherals inoperable"

"He's very proud of the progress he's made..."

'Let's try to get a box seat where we might catch a player.'

Horse riders

"I only married him for his blue tick."

'What's it like being number 400 I know at 399 it's pretty cool and prestigious to be part of the 300s,'

Power Tanning

'At bat is Brosnon. He's batting .279 and his product endorsement income is up 14% this year.'

'Can I have a few minutes to update my profile page?'

"I realize you updated only 30 seconds ago. But you need to do it again. That's the way technology works these days."

Santa's Grotto.