Statistical Satire Lover Pillows

'87% of the 56% who completed the survey thought that it was a complete waste of time.'

'I just decreased the accuracy of their poll by a plus or minus ten points!'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

Schengen

The Anti-Agent

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Occu-Pie Mars

'That's our mission statement.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Build your very own conflict of interest!

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

Trump pardons

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Do Not Resuscitate

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

This Message Has No Content

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

Oligarchy

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"Away with the warmonger!"

National Everything Awareness Day

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'You can just forget about the cake.'