Statistic Lover Pillows

'If at first you don't get the survey results you want on your first survey, get mad and tear it up.'

Action News - "An eighteen month survey found that 82% of people asked, find that surveys are a waste of time."

People named 'Alexa'

"According to the latest stats, there are nine million Brits who aren't working."

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'15% of Americans don't have chairs in their living rooms, and of that 15%, 73% don't even realize it.'

You Are Here

'They're called 'numbers' -- Now we can have public opinion polls!'

Wishful Thinking Magazine - circulation chart.

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

'...and as a consequence, you lot all redundant. I'm not making it up.'

'Our crime figures are down!'

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

Bank Robbery Statistics

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"Frankly, Harold, you're beginning to bore everyone with your statistics."

'Our sabermetrics guy has confirmed that last year's team that went 60-102 was bad.'

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'The idea of an artists' retreat is to get AWAY from business concerns, Mr. Harlow.'

'Number 20 is up. His batting average is 320 and his drug tests are negative.'

Julius and Isabella Dufferburger, statistically average family with their 2.5 children.

The statistician marrying the probability expert...

'17 of the 23 of the 456 people who returned 76 of the 12 questionnaires thought the statistics were meaningless.'

Those Who Get Off On Not Social Distancing: 87% Celebrities On ZOOM: 83%. "We're All In This Together": 82%

"According to this article 98% of the statistics you read in the newspaper are inaccurate."

'According to these statistics you'll probably outlive me...'

"Study after study shows that more and more people are participating in studies."