Stat Lover Pillows

'To a numbers cruncher, there's no such thing as meaningless statistics!'

Bureau of statistics.

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'15% of Americans don't have chairs in their living rooms, and of that 15%, 73% don't even realize it.'

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

Wishful Thinking Magazine - circulation chart.

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

'...and as a consequence, you lot all redundant. I'm not making it up.'

Piorities in Minnesota.

Bank Robbery Statistics

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"Frankly, Harold, you're beginning to bore everyone with your statistics."

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'Our sabermetrics guy has confirmed that last year's team that went 60-102 was bad.'

You're in a terrible state, Al. Don't pick on New Jersey, doctor.

Julius and Isabella Dufferburger, statistically average family with their 2.5 children.

'The idea of an artists' retreat is to get AWAY from business concerns, Mr. Harlow.'

Social median

The statistician marrying the probability expert...

'17 of the 23 of the 456 people who returned 76 of the 12 questionnaires thought the statistics were meaningless.'

The Miracle Worker

'Boys, the team statistician will now explain why our record of 23 wins and 59 losses is very, very good.'

Those Who Get Off On Not Social Distancing: 87% Celebrities On ZOOM: 83%. "We're All In This Together": 82%

"According to this article 98% of the statistics you read in the newspaper are inaccurate."

The Stat family

'The reminds me. Place your orders for the lunchtime pizza.'

"You'll be pleased to know you're making good progress - you've just become a statistic."

'According to these statistics you'll probably outlive me...'

"Study after study shows that more and more people are participating in studies."