Statistic Love Pillows

Wishful Thinking Magazine - circulation chart.

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

Fear/Knowledge

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"Right, before we look at the covid figures for today, do we need another sheet of paper?"

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

Granny with balanced pie chart

John Venn Speaks...' Just don't include me in an of those diagrams, if you don't mind.'

Gloat

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.