Statistic Buffs Pillows

'They say most accidents happen in your home.'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"There! Isn't sipping my Tropical Surprise more fun than arguing over some ancient sports trivia?"

"Very few people are aware that the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle is contagious."

Graph to find your IQ

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

"And what my plan may lack in coherence, it makes up for in the exhilerating momentum created by all of these super-cool arrows!"

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

OVERPOPULATION CRISIS LOOMS!, 'If the Government really wanted zero population growth, they'd turn the problem over to the Pentagon.'

Conspiracy Theory Books

Newton discovers surrealism

'...no you can't phone a friend!'

'We're a paperless office - except for executive bonuses.'

"But, Senator, all the cool kids were doing it."

"Y' know Sir - Red really is your colour..."

You were right. I should have gone for the BT package.

"Why do we need six letters to spell 'Wordle'?"

"And don't ever try to use your smartphone during trivia night again!"

'You say you always give 110% effort-an odd answer for a job as a statistician. . .'

Probability Test.

"Those were the toughest tryouts I've ever had. Everyone has shown great improvement, but I only have one slot open. Congratulations, Gracie! You're the newest member of our academic decathlon team!"

"I'm pursuing the reason I was put on earth."

'We'll only do 72% of it, since it's been reported that 28% of surgery is unnecessary.'

"...then there is business Plan 'C', that does involve robbing a bank."

"Lots of people will lose their jobs to robots, but I don't think they can ever replace us!"

George and the Dragon.

"Apropos-of-nothing last words." "...John Stamos' middle name is Phillip."

"Oh no, we're not looking for humans to study artificial intelligence - we're machines who want to study humans. Interested?"

'Yes, I voted! ...and I've always regretted it. New Coke was awful.'

"Fellow Democrats! If we want to win in 2020 we have to appeal to either the white working class or young women and people of color. It's either or."