Static Cling Survivor T-Shirts

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

Office worker pushing a pile of papers on trolley.

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

A guide to seasons in the North East

Learn to play the violin in one weekend - 'This isn't working! It's Saturday evening already and I've only got as far as holding it properly...'

Emergency Pants

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

Castaway harnessing electricity.

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

"I'm starting up a concierge medicine practice. You in?"

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Desert island has bottle bank and paper bank. Castaway sees message in bottle float towards island.

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

'Look at the bright side. Think of our mutual funds going up, up, up!'

'What luck!'

'Quick, shut the door! The flu!'

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

Welcome centre

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

"Is this the queue for Funworld?"

"Mr. Crusoe, you have some heft overdue fines."

'I sure hope you're a marriage counselor.'

Stranded Techie Needs Batteries

'Don't use that arm... for a day or two!'

'What luck. It's Kosher.'

'Your turn.'

Women castaways are joined on the island by ugly men.

Deflating Island

Rat Race

"It's too bad you're allergic to nuts."

Notice on desert island - sand for sale