Stately Home Appreciator T-Shirts

"My paw's getting tired. Is your paw getting tired?"

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

Baby car seat for a Native American.

The Stat-ewe of Liberty.

Mt. Tushmore

"Look, you asked me what my favorite book was and it just happens to be A Farewell to Arms."

"Good night, Al. We still haven't found it."

"Careful now. It's fragile."

"Hey, what can I say? It's not Baltimore, but then what is?"

Great Urban Sprawl

Home is where you hang the lights.

'Nostalgia just isn't what it used to be...'

'Of course, times have changed. The Earl and Countess now live in that folly!'

Michelangelo's David

'I'm very proud of what he achieved during his life.'

'One day this will be someone else's.'

Any old Gold - 'There's a man ahead of his time'

'He helps keep me focused on what matters most.'

Chadwick Boseman

'I believe this is one of the original sets'

"Honey, I'm home."

Trilby - 'Ah, poor Mamma! she was ever so much prettier than that!'

"Students, for Hispanic heritage month, I've ordered tasty pork tamales for everyone!"

'How nice in this age of rampant hypocrisy, false promises and hollow platitudes to find something that means exactly what it says.'

'I had a house for that price, but it sold in 1962.'

ANTIQUES: Buyers and Lookers

“Please—outside of work I’m not your boss. I’m just Dave with the nicer car, bigger house, and three-hundred-dollar haircut.”