Starting Football Lessons Gifts

Football

Football Fans

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Kid uses his violin as a golf club.

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

'Another football scholarship offer?'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

'What's with the overnight bag, Orville?'

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

Football

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

'Their daughter plays the violin.'

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

Music Lessons

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

Football team discussions.

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

American Football.

"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."

"And Rooney's stretchered off the pitch after managing to stick his foot in his mouth..."

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

The best goalie in the world!