Starting First Job Gifts

Jobs-a-plenty (grocery store sacker/shelf stacker).

"Do you ever feel like you're just here for the paycheck?"

Starting at the Bottom.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Killer Executive Suits.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Carefree luggage.

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Reach for the Star.

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Pipe Dream.

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

New Guy.

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

She was warned. Nethertheless she persisted.

"Make a lot of money."

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

Surfing the daily stress

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."