First Job Gifts

'If the total is wrong, is the whole thing wrong?'

'Some of these young school leavers aren't remotely prepared for the realities of the modern work environment.'

'So...where do you see yourself in 5 minutes time?'

Responsibility and duties

'How could you have thirty years of experience when you're only twenty?'

Job interview.

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

Moving on to flying. It's one of those things that probably won't be for you if you don't get it right the first time. Who's up first?

"I'd like a raise, I can't afford to binge drink on what you pay me."

'I'm looking for someone who can take on great responsibility and make executive decisions and be willing to start at the minimum wage.'

'I always wanted to be an accountant. There's safety in numbers, you know.'

'We all operate the same rules here... the only difference is that you will do so with much less power and resources.'

"It's a nightmare being a young person with a job - everyone keeps staring at me."

"It's a rags to riches story. He started with $80,000 in student loan debt, and now he has a job and moved out of his parent's basement."

'So you don't mind starting at the bottom!'

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

'Why is your resume copyright protected by online-resumes.com?'

Cow with Hay In Tray and Milk Out Tray.

"Do you have any experience as anything other than an innocent bystander?"

"Here's a manual of our rules and a CD that covers our unwritten rules.

'You present yourself well, but frankly we're looking for someone with more experience.'

Entry-level positions at KFC.

'Your CV is a work of pure fiction...'

'I'm glad you've got a song in your heart. Now go get and job and a jingle in your pocket.'

'You say that you dreamt you got a job here?... And in your dream did you have a better CV than this?'

"Well, you're hired. Your resume has just enough of the over-the-top enthusiasm and idealism I find so poignantly amusing."

Today's Jobs/Tomorrow's Jobs/Retirement.

'Yes, you are hired. No, you may not take a selfie with me.'

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

'Oh, I forgot -- I'll need a letter of reference.'

It's time for a corporate shakeup. You squeeze, I'll stir.

'This is a computer company.. we need somebody with more than just great penmanship.'

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'

"Here's how to fit in: overstress, overthink, and wine about everything."

'Ma! My degree in communications is finally paying off!'