First Job Gifts

'If the total is wrong, is the whole thing wrong?'

'Some of these young school leavers aren't remotely prepared for the realities of the modern work environment.'

'So...where do you see yourself in 5 minutes time?'

Responsibility and duties

'How could you have thirty years of experience when you're only twenty?'

Job interview.

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

'I always wanted to be an accountant. There's safety in numbers, you know.'

'We all operate the same rules here... the only difference is that you will do so with much less power and resources.'

Moving on to flying. It's one of those things that probably won't be for you if you don't get it right the first time. Who's up first?

"It's a nightmare being a young person with a job - everyone keeps staring at me."

'I'm looking for someone who can take on great responsibility and make executive decisions and be willing to start at the minimum wage.'

"I'd like a raise, I can't afford to binge drink on what you pay me."

"Do you have any experience as anything other than an innocent bystander?"

'So you don't mind starting at the bottom!'

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

'Why is your resume copyright protected by online-resumes.com?'

"Here's a manual of our rules and a CD that covers our unwritten rules.

'You present yourself well, but frankly we're looking for someone with more experience.'

"It's a rags to riches story. He started with $80,000 in student loan debt, and now he has a job and moved out of his parent's basement."

"Here's how to fit in: overstress, overthink, and wine about everything."

"Well, you're hired. Your resume has just enough of the over-the-top enthusiasm and idealism I find so poignantly amusing."

'Your CV is a work of pure fiction...'

Today's Jobs/Tomorrow's Jobs/Retirement.

'Yes, you are hired. No, you may not take a selfie with me.'

'You have a bright future, son.'

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'

'I'm glad you've got a song in your heart. Now go get and job and a jingle in your pocket.'

It's time for a corporate shakeup. You squeeze, I'll stir.

Entry-level positions at KFC.

'Ma! My degree in communications is finally paying off!'

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

'You say that you dreamt you got a job here?... And in your dream did you have a better CV than this?'

'Oh, I forgot -- I'll need a letter of reference.'

"My secretary will take charge of removing chairs, and eventually there will be just one of you left..."