Starting An Investment Portfolio Gifts

wealth investment

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

Investment Company: We welcome nest eggs.

Investments: Free Bumper Stickers for Customers.

'The starred items in your IRA are stocks from companies that were bailed out.'

We cater to the small investor.

"Are you sure our off shore holdings are safe?"

Financial advice

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio?'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'I know you're looking for a safe investment but have you ever heard of anyone getting wealthy investing in a bank account?'

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

Bookstore. The Stock Market for Dummies. It's either an instructional guide or a history of recent economics.

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

"That was a rumor day."

The early days of Warren Buffett.

My First Bitcoin.

Wall Street Money Never Sleeps. They've obviously never seen my investment portfolio.

Goldilocks Investments: Too hot...too cold...just right.

Financial Advisor to client: 'Your portfolio still could earn money if you believe in the existence of junk bond elves.'

"Let's just say the value of your account has gone from jumbo to fun size."

"Investment strategy - fear."

'I see you've renamed your portfolios Moe, Larry and Curley.'

Guess your net worth, only 25 cents.

If you're so good at picking winning stocks, why do you still have to work?

'That's much better.'

'Do you mind if I take the rest of my session to get your input on investor psychology?'

"I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'."

'Every time I break one of my investment rules, I put $10 in the mistake jar. As of today, it's worth more than my portfolio.'

The high tech crash of the early 2000s...and the depression that followed.