Starting A Sports Scholarship Pillows

Sporting School of Exellence

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Continuing education.

'Another football scholarship offer?'

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

Bribes for Jabs

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

Perils of the double play.

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

'You play ball with me and I'll play ball with you!'

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

'And the Dance Scholarship goes to...'

'Here we go again...'

Future Wrestler

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

'We don't want to risk having any injuries during spring training.'

Scenes we'd most like to see...

Baseball players and their qualifications.

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

'It's all right, miss, I'm only loking for our cricket-ball!'

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'