Starting A New Loan Gifts

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

"I'm a good risk for a business loan because I put 110% effort into my business."

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

Bank Loans - Thank you, I shall always be in your debt.

"Well, Mr. Shoddy, if we were to approve your business loan, you'd really need to change the name of your company."

'Thanks, I just know that I'll never be able to repay your kindness . . .'

"Yes very good, but when I say I need to see your business model before agreeing any loan, I mean your strategy."

I have a dream.

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

Farmer's credit.

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

SMALL BUSINESS LOANS, 'Your business plan seems to depend on winning a lot of state lotteries....'

"How much do you need?"

Yes we can increase your overdraft, but I'd like to see a little more grovelling, please.

"Yes, we've refused your loan application."

'A loan, certainly, how much would you like?'

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

'We try to only make bad loans to good people.'

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

"We've got borrower's remorse."

I'm buying last year's car today with next year's money.

"We've decided to add forty floors."

'How much do you want?' - 'How much have you got?'

'At every corner I face the same questions: should I go forward? Should I go to the left? Should I go to the right? Where does my fortune lie?'

"Do you have any other form of collateral?"

'We're going to need a bit more than comfortably off, I'm afraid.'

'You want the 'loan officer.' Next door down.'

'What do you mean you've done more for me than my mother did?'

"According to my actuary tables, your loan will outlive you."

First hurdle to getting a loan. Angry woman.

"Yes, I can help you with your loan questions. I'm the loan arranger."