Starting A New Lifestyle T-Shirts

The Shy Nudist Camp.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

Item #3715 - cozy cardigan

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

Olive Oil

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

"If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you'll be in as good a shape as you've never been."

"I used to be old, too, but it wasn't my cup of tea."

'The old woman who lives in a shoe gets a camper van.'

"Guess the weight you used to be"

Life coach faces the Grim Reaper

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

'You ought to wise up, and get into a more contemporary lifestyle - and the first step is to become a vegetarian.'

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

'Watch yourself.'

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

"My joints... are almost done"

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

'I don't want to eat this. I want to eat organic foods.'

'Hopefully these sessions will help you to adjust to flying economy.'

"To be honest, it was a matter of finding something to do after I gave up alcohol."

Cup half full

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

"I'm burning my little black dresses and moving upstate."

"The long and the short of it, doctor, is that I'm ready to change from a soccer mom to a Nascar dad."

"Can we get some more nicotine patches, pal?"