Embracing A New Lifestyle T-Shirts

"My joints... are almost done"

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

Item #3715 - cozy cardigan

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

"If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you'll be in as good a shape as you've never been."

'The old woman who lives in a shoe gets a camper van.'

"I used to be old, too, but it wasn't my cup of tea."

Life coach faces the Grim Reaper

"Guess the weight you used to be"

'You ought to wise up, and get into a more contemporary lifestyle - and the first step is to become a vegetarian.'

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

'Watch yourself.'

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

The Shy Nudist Camp.

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

"Okay, we've put on our exercise clothes. Now what?"

'Hopefully these sessions will help you to adjust to flying economy.'

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

"Can we get some more nicotine patches, pal?"

"The long and the short of it, doctor, is that I'm ready to change from a soccer mom to a Nascar dad."

"I'm burning my little black dresses and moving upstate."

'I'm coping.'

Urban Gardens

"To be honest, it was a matter of finding something to do after I gave up alcohol."

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

Fast food eater dreams of fruit...fruit eater dreams of junk food.