Adjusting To New Lifestyle T-Shirts

Out of Order.

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

Item #3715 - cozy cardigan

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

"If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you'll be in as good a shape as you've never been."

"I used to be old, too, but it wasn't my cup of tea."

"Guess the weight you used to be"

'The old woman who lives in a shoe gets a camper van.'

Life coach faces the Grim Reaper

'You ought to wise up, and get into a more contemporary lifestyle - and the first step is to become a vegetarian.'

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

'Watch yourself.'

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

The Shy Nudist Camp.

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

"My joints... are almost done"

'Hopefully these sessions will help you to adjust to flying economy.'

Fast food eater dreams of fruit...fruit eater dreams of junk food.

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

Just Married

'I'm coping.'

Urban Gardens

"Can we get some more nicotine patches, pal?"

"The long and the short of it, doctor, is that I'm ready to change from a soccer mom to a Nascar dad."

"I'm burning my little black dresses and moving upstate."

"To be honest, it was a matter of finding something to do after I gave up alcohol."

"It's great to be back. I was going a little stir-crazy working all across the country from home."