Starting A New Life Gifts

'There are those who say that in America the streets are paved with excrement.'

"O.K., who has to go potty before we disappear into the Federal Witness Protection Program?"

I joined the Witness Protection Scheme...

Hope

Russians leave Russia

The fate of the emigrant

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

Business school graduate trying to climb to the top of the world

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

So You've Cloned Yourself

Day one, post grad

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

'Adam seems depressed - He needs camaraderie or something.'

Set sail

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

'Your marriage to your job has just been annulled.'

"Hon, I'm taking your advice and starting a new chapter."

'I'll be honest. Your chances of success are slim.'

"Oh, don't mind us... We just want to make sure it's really dead."

"You get a white robe, a halo, wings, and of course, free WIFI."

At the Brew-haha Comedy Club

No, no, don't tell me … you lost weight? You cut your hair? Wait, did you used to wear glasses?

Off to a bad start.

"This little piggy goes to the market. . ."

Been there. Done that. (Man stands between two doors.)

'This may be the first day of the rest of my life, but I've decided to wait for the second day.'

Springtime rabbits.

Happy Days are here again

"Today is the day I start the new me!"