Starting A New Life Mugs

'There are those who say that in America the streets are paved with excrement.'

"O.K., who has to go potty before we disappear into the Federal Witness Protection Program?"

I joined the Witness Protection Scheme...

Hope

Russians leave Russia

The fate of the emigrant

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

Business school graduate trying to climb to the top of the world

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

So You've Cloned Yourself

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

Day one, post grad

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

'Adam seems depressed - He needs camaraderie or something.'

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

Set sail

'Your marriage to your job has just been annulled.'

"Hon, I'm taking your advice and starting a new chapter."

'I'll be honest. Your chances of success are slim.'

"Oh, don't mind us... We just want to make sure it's really dead."

'This may be the first day of the rest of my life, but I've decided to wait for the second day.'

"This little piggy goes to the market. . ."

Happy Days are here again

Springtime rabbits.

"You get a white robe, a halo, wings, and of course, free WIFI."

"Today is the day I start the new me!"

Live, laugh, love

"I was just like you, then I hired a life coach. Now look at me!"

After years of captivity and cruel treatment, Buster was finally free - free to pedal the open plains to his heart's content!

"When I'm grown up I don't want to poop on small cars in little cow towns. I want to poop on the limousines of the rich and famous on the Champs Elysees."