Starting A New Childcare Job Gifts

"I'd like to trade him in for something quieter and better behaved."

"They can run but they won't be able to hide."

City Zoo: Day Care

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Cry babies.

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Interior design trends for parents....

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'The child is very illogical'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

Chez Nous Menu

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

Coping with a strong-willed child

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'