Starting A Career In Acting Pillows

"Remember, you're a 17-year old fashion model. Now go out and act like you've never acted before."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

They hated me.

"Just be yourself."

Benedict Cumberbatch

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'They all want to play the star.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

'Hamlet'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Comedy Cafe

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Theatre Masks and Butts

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Joan Hickson

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"If it appears that I only act like I'm working, it's because I minored in Theater."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Theatre Crowd

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."